Honest Words
by Moofy-Fan
Summary: Before you fall you have to learn to crawl, you can't see heaven when you're standing tall, to get the whole sky, on the ground you have to lie... Husky centered.
1. Chapter 1

Well, random one-shot inspiration time Yay. Am I the only one who thinks the song Viva la Vida fits Husky nearly perfectly? This is only my second ever attempt at first person POV, so I hope it's not that bad. Huh, I wonder if anyone who hasn't read the entire series will accuse me of posting my story in the wrong section just from the summery. Not that I blame them, they certainly have every right to be mad about how cluttered the section is.

This takes place right before the group gets to Sandra in chapter 25, book 5. Although it has spoilers for books seven and eight as well. Hope you enjoy and please read and review.

Honest Words

"Husky, how long till the food's done?" I hear Cooro ask from across the fire. I can barely resist rolling my eyes at the question. Sure, it had been several hours since any of us ate, and it was getting kind of late, but he still didn't have any reason to ask me.

"How should I know? Ask Senri, he's the one cooking," I tell him, and he actually seems to get the picture, quickly turning to the cook instead. I didn't hear the answer though, but maybe Senri didn't actually answer out loud anyway, it wouldn't surprise me. Instead I just kind of stare at the fire and try to block the others out. They're always so loud, except for Senri of course, when we first started traveling together it was nearly impossible, but after a while I guess you just get used to it.

"-usky, you in there? Husky, food's done," I mentally curse myself for jutting up so suddenly when I noticed Nana placing a plate of food in front of my face. I can barely see it through all the spots glittering through my vision, although I just ignore them and grab the plate from her without saying anything. Spacing out while staring at a fire. Not one of my best ideas.

"Hey, is everything alright? You've been kind of out of it lately," Nana asked after I started eating. She's always trying to pry into other people's business, not that I expected anything different. Sometimes I wonder why I ever let myself travel with a girl in the first place.

"No I haven't," I tell her, which is true. I haven't been out of it, at least no more then usual, I think, and even if I was, it's none of her business. She's already rolling her eyes though, and I can just tell this is going to end in another fight. It's starting to get pretty dark though, and we're in the woods, so at least if I need to leave I know she wont follow me.

"Don't lie. Cooro, hasn't he been all spacey lately?" of course she'd bring Cooro into this. I don't get what her problem is. So what if I've been thinking a lot lately, it's not like we don't all have our moments. From the look in Cooro's eye though, it seems like he'd going to agree with her. Just my luck.

"It is true, you have seemed kind of off. Is everything okay?" he asks, and I just roll my eyes, which only have a few lingering spots of distorted color left.

"Yes, everything's fine," I mumbled a bit more then I liked, and stood up, leaving my plate on the ground. I'm not really hungry anyway. I can hear all three stand up and start to follow behind me as I start towards the edge of the clearing.

"Husky, what's wrong?" Nana asked. What was that, the third time I was asked in the last three minutes? There's nothing wrong with me.

"Nothing, I'm going for a walk," they're not following me anymore, but they're still standing. Soon enough I'm out of the little clearing we decided to settle in and can no longer feel their gaze on my back. As long as no one decides to try and follow me from the shadows it should be fine.

I can kind of get why Nana doesn't like forest at night, even without what happened to her. They aren't exactly the most comforting place in the world. It's not yet pitch black though, and I'm not going to stay out long enough for it to get that way, I just need some time away from the fires, and the others.

Why do they think something's wrong with me anyway? Th's not. I haven't been distracted lately. Urg, even when she's not here that stupid girl wont leave me alone, her 'don't lie' echoing through my head like she personally decided to be my conscious for the night. I'm not lying though. At least I don't think I am.

"Ahhhh!" What the hell?… I'm an idiot… Stupid, stupid pond! How'd I even manage to fall in? …maybe I have been a little out of it.

This is just great, now I'm soaking wet and Cooro and Nana are definitely going to ask why. Whatever, I'll just stay here for a little while. Damn, that wind is cold. Maybe I should take off my cloak, it's not exactly keeping me warm at this point. That's a little better, I guess.

Hmm, it's not that cold when you lay down. I guess it's because the wind isn't hitting you that much. It's weird, the sky here always looks a little different then the sky in Sailand. Sailand… Okay, maybe that's what's been bothering me lately. We're getting pretty close to the border. I could probably head back soon, if I wanted to. I couldn't take the others, but they'd get over it. It would be for there own good anyway.

It's pretty dark, I should head back soon. I really don't feel like getting up though. Maybe five more minutes…

Myrrha pulled himself out of the ocean, quickly changing his fishtail back into legs. He still couldn't get used to that. He was an anima… and now he was in Asteria. At least, he thinks he is, although it was hard to tell without a map and any clear idea exactly how far he'd swam. He'd definitely gone by the mountain ridge though, so he should be out of the Sailand.

Out of Sailand… and he couldn't go back either. Not if he didn't want to become a slave, that is. Standing up, the silver boy tried to dust a bit of the sand off his clothes. He'd have to get new ones if he wasn't going to stand out. Taking a deep breath, he started away from the beach. This was it. He could do this, and he could do it alone.

It was almost sunrise by the time the boy made it into town. Only a few people were up at this hour, although he was very aware of the odd glances they gave him. He needed new clothes, but he didn't have any sort of money.

It was definitely strange. That was the first time the boy had ever had to think about money. He almost felt ashamed of his previous privileges, but quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of his head. He could deal with them later, right now he needed to find a way to blend in.

He supposed he could always just steal the clothes, and tried to ignore the bad taste the thought left in his mouth. Royalty shouldn't steal. He quickly told himself he wasn't royalty anymore.

Finding an unwatched clothes line, he pulled off a simple brown shirt and pants. He hated wearing brown, but right now he was in no position to be picky. Leaving the yard as fast as he could, he changed from his obviously Sailandic clothes into the Asterian outfit. They were both at least two sizes too big on the skinny boy, and he had to use a sash from his old clothes to keep the pants from falling down, but it was better then nothing. Taking the rest of his old outfit, he buried it by the base of a large tree. It wasn't like he'd need it anymore.

Standing up, he decided to make his way away from the town. He was hungry and couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten, but if someone recognized the clothes he had on as stolen he'd get in even more trouble. He wasn't dumb enough to try and find anything edible in the forest though. Sure, he knew a good deal about what plants were poisonous in Sailand, but he hadn't a clue when it came to these.

It was maybe a day later when Myrrha reached another town. He needed food. The silver boy had never gone so long without any before. He hadn't the first clue on how to steal something when someone was watching though, the clothes had been just luck.

Reaching a marketplace, his hopes became even more dashed. There were so many people… There's no way no one would notice if he tried anything. He was just standing there and people tended to glance at him as they walked by.

The silver boy was continuing to think over his options of obtaining food before he starved when a group of boys stopped in front of him. He didn't notice at first, too caught up in his thoughts, but finally broke through when a tall one with dark brown hair began to talk.

"Hey there, what's your name?" he asked, and the skinny boy's brain froze. There was no way he could say Myrrha, it was so Sailandian it hurt. So instead he just stood there, gapping like an idiot, as if that was any less suspicious. Before he was able to spew out the first thing that came to his head, one of the other boys, a slightly shorter one with blonde hair, spoke up.

"C'mon cutie, no need to be shy," he said, and Myrrha's look of worry was immediately replaced with one of anger. As if he didn't have to deal with this enough from Keane and the others, now it was people he didn't even know. Without thinking he punched the blonde hard enough to send him flying back, his two friends just barely managing to catch him.

"I'm a boy!" he yelled, stomping away from the three as they stood in shock at the sudden change of events. The silver haired boy was fuming as he walked aimlessly through town, his hunger temporarily forgotten. He positively, absolutely _hated_ girls! The queens and princesses back home were always so petty and angry! They were rude and annoying and, and…

The silver boy trailed off of his mental tirade as he realized that he'd somehow made his way back to the ocean. Maybe he could give fishing a try… Then he wouldn't have to steal and not accidentally poison himself either. Glancing around to make sure he was alone, he leaped into the water during his transformation.

The water engulfed him from all sides, and it was hard to keep the panic from setting in. He just had to tell himself it was alright. He could breath now. There was no way for him to drown anymore. Once he'd successfully calmed himself down he started swimming out towards the deeper parts of the ocean, not entirely sure about the first thing he could do to catch a fish. Wouldn't they just run away from him?

After maybe an hour of pointlessly chasing fish around, the silver boy caught sight of what looked like a school of fish up ahead. If it was an entire school, then there was no way they could all run off, right? Okay, maybe they could, but it was worth a try.

Swimming into the middle of the swarm he'd actually managed to get a hold of one, only for it to swim right out of his grip… what in the world was he doing trying to grab fish with his bare hands under water for over an hour…? Shaking his head, he decided to just give it up already and turned around to head back to shore.

What the hell was this? The skinny boy started pulling at what looked like a net in front of him. Okay, it was a net. No need to panic, just keep swimming along the edge until you reach the end. It didn't take him very long to realize that the net was in the shape of a circle. Okay, this was not good. Looking up, he saw the boat that the net was attached to, looking down he saw nothing but panicking fish.

Oh shit, oh shit, the net was rising. The stupid net's rising! Don't panic, don't panic. There had to be some way out, he can't just freak like all those brainless fishes. Those fishes definitely weren't helping though. He could barely think straight as they started closing in on him.

Breaking through from the water, he tried to get closer to the edge of the net. Maybe he could jump overboard once they lowered it. After what seemed like an eternity in the air being crushed by slimy fish, they were pulled over onto the deck of the ship. Before he had time to change back he could hear people yelling. Shit, they had to of saw him. Looking up, the last thing he saw was a rather large man standing in front of him, a wooden oar raised above his head.

How'd he get into these situations? When he woke up he was trapped in some sort of jar filled with water, and then he was sold to some circus. As if it could get anymore cliché. That had all happened yesterday. Right now he was sitting in front of the ring master, rubbing his ears absently. Bastard had taken the earrings off when he slept last night. Damn it…

"So, why don't you tell me your name," the man said, and Myrrha just continued to glare at him, partly because he was pissed and didn't want to tell him anything, and partly because he still hadn't thought of a fake name. He actually hadn't said a word to the man yet, not even after the repeated mistakes of thinking he was a girl.

The ringmaster didn't seem all that upset though, continuing to walk around the room in front of him, an arrogant smirk on his lips. "C'mon now, my little mermaid, it'll be best if you just corporate with us," he said, but the silver boy only glared harder. The man had already told him all about his 'mermaid princess' idea for his show. Needless to say he was absolutely sicken. There was no way he would do something so degrading.

The ringmaster started messing with the necklaces he was wearing, the one Myrrha knew had his earrings inside. "Well, if you're going to be like that, why I don't I just give you a new name? How do you like Sapphire?" that was it. He wasn't going to give him his real name, but he wasn't about to be openly mocked either. Instead, he went with the first name that came to his head.

"Husky," he nearly growled, earning the older man's attention almost immediately. He had no idea why he'd decided to go with that name. It was something Keane had thought up as an insult, but it really had stuck around the palace.

"Now what was that? I didn't quite hear you," he asked, an amused tone to his voice, and the silver boy had to use all of his control to keep himself from attacking the man then and there. Not even his brothers had managed to piss him off this much.

"Husky," he repeated, "my name is Husky and I am a boy," he spat, the second part of his statement clearly shocking the ringmaster quite a bit, who coughed awkwardly in an attempt to recover himself, nodding several times.

"Why of course you're a boy. Well then, _Husky,_ I don't think there should be any reason to change my plans," he said, looking him up and down as if he still couldn't believe he was male, "Just to be safe though, I think we'll buy a wig to go along with your costume," Myrrha's knuckles were turning white from the pressure he was putting into his fist. There was no way he could do this. No way in hell.

His eyes fell back onto the pendant holding his earrings. He should just leave them. He'd already gotten rid of everything else that connected him to Sailand, why couldn't he abandon those stupid pieces of jewelry as well?

The ring master smirked as he walked up to the silver haired boy, who couldn't help but wonder what the point was of coming to Asteria if he was just going to become a slave anyway? The older man placed his hands on his boney shoulders as he looked down at him, Myrrha meeting his gaze with a fierce glare. "I'm glad you see it my way, boy."

He'd been in the circus for maybe three months now. It was absolute torture. No matter what he did though, he couldn't find a way to get his jewels away from that grubby old man so he could leave. One thing he could be thankful for was that no one doubted he was anyone but Husky, the fish +anima playing mermaid princess without a family or background. Even his accent went mostly unnoticed, not that he spoke with many of the other workers much anyway.

Placing the wig on his head, he scowled into the dirty mirror as he got ready for yet another performance. There had to be a way out of here, and as soon as he found it he'd take it without a second thought. Slavery was the whole reason he left Sailand.

He told himself all the time that all he had to do was be patient and something would happen, but he was starting to lose it. If that something didn't happen soon, then he was going to take matters into his own hands.

"Husky! Husky wake up!" Urg, what in the world? What's got Cooro all worked up? Opening my eyes, Cooro, Nana and Senri were all standing over me. What the? I sat up as fast as I could and looked around. Did something happen? Where are we anyway, I can't even remember falling asleep.

"What happened? You left and didn't come back for hours. We're you _trying_ to worry us?" Nana yelled in my ear. Wait, left? Oh yeah… I went for a walk after dinner, and fell in a pond. Then I apparently fell asleep. Whoops…

"I uhh… fell asleep?" Okay, that was pretty weak, and Nana looks pissed and Cooro and Senri worried. Forget about staring at fires, this definitely beat that.

"You're okay though, right?" Cooro asked me as I stood up, and I nodded at him. The moon's pretty high up, how long had I been out?

"Yeah, I'm fine, let's just get back to camp," I grumbled, already walking in the direction of the clearing. The others just follow me, not saying anything thankfully. Hmm, that dream I had was kind of strange. Okay, so maybe a lot of the dreams I have tend to be of things that have actually happened to me, but it's not usually that part of my life. I hadn't thought about that part hardly at all lately.

The last instance of the dream had been the day I'd met Cooro and finally started to put into motion getting out of that hellhole.

Towards the west it was still completely dark, but the mountains that separated Sailand from Asteria were right at the edge of the horizon. It didn't make any sense. Why can't I just let it go? I could never go back forever, so why even for a little bit? I should just be happy with what I have, I guess, but that stupid tug wont let me get those mountains out of my head.

We finally reach the clearing and the others start making their beds. I guess they're tired after waiting for me to come back then having to go looking. Nana placed my cloak down on one of the logs in the clearing. Whoops, I almost left it by the pond.

I decide to just lay down and go back to sleep. I can tell the others want to know what in the world all that had been about, but I can't tell them if I'm not even sure what it is. Besides, I wont be here much longer, with the mountains coming closer and closer. They can't come with me, and they don't even know who I am, really, so why should it matter.

It's not like I could ever tell them, since they never noticed anything odd besides the fact that I have expensive earrings. Like that would be enough to prepare them for the truth. They didn't even notice I had an accent either, and I talked to them way more than anyone at the circus.

None of it would matter, so I should just go to sleep. One last thought rang through my head before I finally dozed off, something I guess I would like to tell my friends, but I know I never will. They wont even be my friends once I have to leave, so I shouldn't even worry about that, and instead just hope it manages to stay out of my dreams instead.

_Hello, my name is Myrrha, crowned prince of Sailand, and I used to rule the world. _


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so originally this was just a one shot, but inspiration struck, so here's another chapter. This should be it though, well, actually I might make one more after this, and round it off with three. (trying not to get caught up in Husky's mind, too many other stories I need to write.) This one was once again half-inspired by a song, just a few lines from They Might Be Giant's song Thunderbird. The rest can kind of fit him, but these really stuck out to me.

_You don't know how I've tried,  
><em>_To forget what it was like.  
><em>_I remember now,  
><em>_I remember now..._

The next day I could tell that the others were still upset and worried about how I left last night. Of course, they never just did the sensible thing and asked me what was wrong, although I probably wouldn't of really answered if they had… which they probably knew by now.

Well, anyway, we're still heading to a city off in the distance, it should take maybe one more day to get there. I think it's called Sandra. It's the farthest city west, but I don't know if any of the others know that. We'll probably end up staying there for the winter. Well, the others will, at least. I'm… still not sure what I want to do. One thing I do know is that I hate the winter in Asteria, way too cold. I've only ever spent one winter here, with the circus, but I can't imagine how people spend so many months out of every year of their life like that.

"Hey Husky, when should we get to the next town?" I hear Cooro ask me, sounding as upbeat as ever. Well, maybe he's not still upset and worried about last night, but whatever. Cooro never stays in the negative very long anyway.

"About another day, we should get there early tomorrow," I tell him, although I really can't be completely positive, since we don't actually have a map or anything. They always tend to take my word for it though, even when I end up wrong. It doesn't happen often, I guess I'm a pretty good judge of distance, so that must be why.

"Kay-Kay~" he says, before turning back to Nana and talking about… whatever it is they're talking about. I don't tend to listen when they go on like that, as long as it's not about me. Cooro's always so hyper, and Nana's a girl, there's only so much I can take.

When we're traveling like this, it tends to get kind of boring. Sure, it's not when we end up getting trapped in coliseums or attacked by giant bee monsters or Senri getting crazy soldiers to attack him just by spacing out in his direction, but when we're just walking like this. Sure, it's peaceful too, but it's also easy to let your mind wander.

That dream last night. I really should stop thinking about it, it doesn't mean anything. I'm thinking about going home, why wouldn't I dream about when I first came to this country, even if I hadn't thought about it in a while. Of course, now it's all I can think about. I swear, even my own mind hates me sometimes.

I don't think I should try and cross the mountains in the winter though, too dangerous. Plus I've never climbed a mountain before, it's not exactly the ideal climate for my anima. Any of the others would be way more suited then me, especially Senri, but it doesn't matter, because I can't take them with me anyway.

I guess I'll miss them when the time comes, but it's best to just not think about it. Even if going back to Sailand is only temporary, I have to. They'll understand… if I even end up telling them, and if not… then it's not like I'll ever get the chance to see them again, statistically. They'll get over it.

A few hours later we stop to make camp. The cities just barely visible in the distance, but it'd be best to settle down while we can, before it gets dark and we can't find anywhere. Luckily we've all figured this out by now. Actually, ever since we started traveling, they've been good at deciding when it'd be best to pack in. A lot better then I was when I first started traveling alone. I really could be an idiot back then, swimming until nightfall before curling up on some rock hidden on shore. Of course, that also helped me not get caught, but it was still exhausting.

Really though, it wasn't like any of us were that new to traveling. Senri's obviously been on his own for a while, kind of the same with Cooro, and Nana did spend some time alone before she ended up in that cave we found her in.

It doesn't take long to set up, and luckily we still have enough food left from yesterday that we don't have to do much foraging either, and thankfully I don't have to go fishing. Don't get me wrong, my anima is useful as anything, but I just don't like the water all that much. I know, perfect for a fish.

I actually end up eating all my dinner this time, and the others have seemed to finally relax and forget what had happened. I mean, it's not like it's the first time that one of us has run off, you think we'd be used to it. Okay, running off on your own is probably not the best thing for a group of kids traveling the countryside to get used to, but that's just our reality.

I'm not going to run off again until I actually decide to leave. I don't know why, and I don't really care, that's just what I want to do. The others can, and probably will, knowing our track record, but I don't feel like it anymore.

It's getting dark earlier, since winter is starting to close in, so we start packing in for bed earlier too, especially since the others kind of stayed up late last night looking for me. I guess I still feel kind of guilty for that, but it wasn't like I meant to fall asleep, I just needed some alone time. It's not like I think of home very often, at least, I didn't normally, for some reason or another it's changing.

I mean, I've been gone for over a year now, wouldn't the homesickness have hit already? Whatever, it's just because I'm thinking about going back, it's no big deal. I'm not homesick, and even when I go, I wont be able to stay. Really, I should just forget about everything and not go back at all.

I laid down rather ungracefully on the ground, just barely managing to avoid a tree root. It's just like my stupid earrings. I just can't give it up, even if I should. What will holding onto any of this do? I can't go back, and I know this. I don't even want to… I think. Just need to say bye to my mom and let her know I'm alive, and then it'll be fine. That's all I need to do.

"Husky? Something wrong?" Cooro's staring at me on the ground. Shoot, I did just kind of flop down in a heap of… annoyance? Yeah, that's it. Well, whatever it was it's got the other's eyes on me for the second night in a row. I'm not going to run off again though, they don't need to be put through that worry for two days in a row. I'm not that cruel.

"No, just tired," it's true, I am tired, and there isn't anything wrong, I have it all figured out. Cooro looks skeptical as anything though, but just nods, not pushing the subject any farther. I didn't really expect him to, it didn't take very long to realize how much of a… doormat, Cooro kind of is. I mean, he'll stand up for himself, he just wont… go against what other people want, I guess. I've been trying to get him to stop that, it's not healthy. Although I am kind of glad he isn't bothering me now.

The others set up for bed pretty quickly, and soon they're all asleep. I haven't really been talking that much that last few days, and I can tell the others have noticed. I'm gonna have to just get over it.

Should just forget everything, but that's not gonna happen until I get rid of my earrings, and after what I went through just to keep them… not happening.

Huh, second night in a row staring at the sky, thinking about things I really shouldn't. This should be it though, until I leave. It's… odd. If you'd told me when I still lived at the palace that in a year, I'd be sleeping outside in a foreign country, traveling with a bunch of animas and never be able to go home again, well, I just wouldn't believe it at all. I'm living the exact opposite of my old life.

That's what it is, really. There's nothing similar about them, but I still… like the life I have now? Yeah, I like it, it's okay.

"Hey Husky?" Ah! Damn that Cooro, I thought he was asleep. Nearly give me a heart attack. Now that I look at him, he's sitting up against a tree, and just kind of staring off into the forest. That boy's gonna be the death of me one day, they all are.

"What? Why aren't you asleep?" I can see him shrug out of the corner of my eye, but he's still not looking fully at me. Sometimes I just don't know with him. He's always so upbeat, except for when he's not. Okay, that just sounded really dumb, but it's true. Things don't usually get him down easily, and when he is upset, it's pretty easy to pinpoint to problem, like with what happened with that Shadow guy. Right now he doesn't really seem upset though, just kind of… calm, with is really weird.

"Just couldn't… you?" he asks me, and I just kind of shrug like he did. I hope we don't end up waking up Nana and Senri, but they seem pretty sound asleep, and we aren't talking that loud.

"Same," I mumble, and Cooro just nods. I wonder what's up with him. I kind of want to ask, but I kind of don't, it'll probably just end up being turned around onto me. We're both quiet for a while, and I almost thought Cooro'd fallen asleep for real this time, but of course then is when he decides to talk again. Even when he's calm I can't predict him.

"Whatcha thinking about?" he asked, and I just shrug again, I don't know what to say. I can't tell them about my home, and that's really all I've been thinking about today. It wont be for long though, I just need to forget about it for a while.

"Nothing, why?" I say, just to get the attention off of me for a little bit. Hopefully Cooro will just go to sleep soon so I wont have to deal with anymore questions.

"You just seemed like you were thinking a lot. Nothing's wrong?" I really need to just forget about it all, but it wont go away. I can't tell him that though, so I nod for what feels like the billionth time. I'm sure Cooro can tell it's kind of fake, even if nothing is really wrong. He doesn't act or really seem it most of the time, but the kid is pretty perceptive.

"No, everything's fine. We should get some sleep, so that we can wake up early and get to Sandra in the morning," I tell him, and he agrees. It wasn't like I was trying to change the subject or anything. We really do need to get to sleep. It doesn't seem like it takes Cooro very long to nod off, but I'm still awake what must be at least an hour later.

It doesn't really matter, I'll get to sleep tonight eventually. As soon as I can forget about home, and that I might get the chance to get back, and that it doesn't matter because it wont be forever. I just need to get my mind off it for a while. I'm not homesick, I can do it.

Who am I trying to kid? I'll forget all that the second I throw my earrings off a cliff. Even if it doesn't matter in the end, it wont leave me alone. I just can't stop remembering, and even if I don't want to, I'm gonna end up going back, or else it will never leave me alone.

You just don't know how I've tried to forget what it was like.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everybody. I finally decided to write the last chapter of this little three-shot (a trilogy?) even when it's probably the last thing I should be doing on my list of priorities. Ah well, I just can't stop thinking about +anima lately, so this is the result.  
>Once again inspired by a verse in They Might Be Giant's song Thunderbird. This was actually the one that was going to be with the last chapter, but I couldn't get it to fit quite right, and the other part matched it better. One last thing, this chapter takes place after the events of books 7 &amp;8, so you've been warned.<p>

_Before you fall you have to learn to crawl,  
><em>_You can't see heaven when you're standing tall,  
><em>_To get the whole sky,  
><em>_On the ground you have to lie…_

It's been almost a week since we've gotten back to Asteria, and I still have absolutely no clue how I feel. Things had went both better and worse than I had thought they would. I mean, I'm glad the others had decided to come, even though I really shouldn't have let them, it was dangerous. We were lucky that none of us permanently became slaves, and that we didn't get thrown in jail or killed for breaking into the palace.

All of that's behind us now though. Crystala dropped us back off in an Asterian port and everything's back to normal. I told my mother I was alive, I got to see her one last time. I even got to see my father, even if it was only for a few second, and Crystala. I guess Keane counted too, he seems to have changed for the better, although he did end up exposing us. I _think_ he was trying to do something good.

Either way, I should be happy. I even get to stay with my friends, and not abandon them forever like I thought I had. All of this is very good, so why was it so dang hard to actually step off Crystala's boat, and why haven't I been able to smile since we've been here? I mean, I know I don't smile often to begin with, but still.

The others have been acting… strangely normal. None of them really cared that I was a prince, not even Nana, who's all into that glitz and glam stuff. It's actually a relief. I wouldn't want them to treat me any differently, which I guess is why I never told them in the first place. I really had expected them to at least ask a bit more about it though, but when we were there they only asked a few things, mostly for clarification or if it had something to do with managing to get into the palace, and since we left they haven't said a thing. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure that they're just trying to avoid the subject.

I wish I could. I thought that after I went back and got done everything I needed to, I'd be able to just forget all about it and finally move on with my life. Why am I always so wrong all the time?

We set up camp a while ago, and it's starting to get really late. I think it was Nana who suggested that we should start getting ready for bed, but I can't really remember exactly. Might have been Cooro. Either way, the others are heading off to sleep, and I feel an almost de-ja-vu moment as I just sit there and stare at the sky.

All that trouble, and I'm in the exact same position I was in before all of this had happened.

Tearing myself from the sky, I see Cooro sit up and lean against another tree, looking a bit worried. It's not normal seeing Cooro looked worried, although he has been acting a bit strange since we've gotten back as well. I kind of doubt it's for the same reason I am though.

"What's up?" I'm actually the one to start the conversation, and I think it surprised him a little. He smiled so fast afterwards though, I might have just been seeing things.

"Nothing, but are you okay Husky? You've been really quiet since we've gotten back," he asks me. Oh, so they have noticed. I guess that's why they haven't been asking me much about it, they probably think I'm homesick. I'm not, I'm just… a little confused.

"I'm fine, there just hasn't been that much to talk about, I guess," I tell him, even though there is a lot that we could possibly talk about. Not even just about Sailand, but what we should be doing next, everything _else_ that had happened before we'd even gotten to Sailand, anything really. I can tell Cooro doesn't really buy that explanation, and I don't really blame him, but he nods anyway, like he doesn't know how to tell someone that they're wrong.

"Okay, but if there is anything wrong, you know you can talk to us about it, right?" he asks, and I almost automatically nod. If something was really wrong, then I would tell them, but this isn't anything life threatening, it's just a bunch of jumbled emotions that I have no clue are coming from. I can deal with it on my own. Cooro doesn't say anything for a while after that, and I almost think that he's given up for now.

"Myrrha?" I almost choke when I hear him call me that, and temporarily forget that Nana and Senri are asleep.

"What?" I almost yell. None of them had ever called me that, not even when they found out it was my name, they just continued to call me Husky. I have no clue why Cooro decided to change that now. He just looks confused at my outburst though, and I almost feel bad for yelling, but I hadn't actually meant to in the first place.

"Well, that's your name, right?" he says, and I nod, but I can't get the confusion off of my face now.

"Well yeah, but don't call me it!" I say before I can think. They just don't call me that, it's not right. I think my answer just confused him even more though, and I can see Nana and Senri pushing themselves up, Senri looking confused, Nana just annoyed. Great, now they're awake too.

"Why not?" Cooro asks me, but before I can even think of a reason Nana has woken up enough to start talking.

"What's going on? Did something happen?" She asks, looking between us. I just shake my head, not really sure what's going on by this point. I don't think Senri does either, but either way he lights up a lantern so that we can all see a bit better.

"Nothing's going on, and just because I said so, okay Cooro," I say, answering both questions at once. Cooro still looks confused though, and Nana doesn't seem to like that answer in the slightest. It's times like these where I wish Senri was my only companion. Even he looks a bit concerned though, but it's a lot easier to get him to drop something where he barely makes a move to say it in the first place. Sure, Cooro doesn't really press people too much if they tell him to drop it, but his face says everything, and Nana can be insufferably persistent.

"Alright," he mumbles, although he sounds as uncertain as anything. Nana's crossing her arms now, choosing to stare at me instead of Cooro, figuring I'm behind all this. She is kind of right, I mean, I'm the one who woke them up, I guess.

"Then why'd we get woken up? What are you guys talking about?" Nana persists. Urg, this is stupid, there isn't any reason they should even be up in the first place. I try to keep my face neutral as Cooro tells her, although I guess the fact that I need to try is a bit telling. Why do I even care what they call me? It's not like it really matters after all. It's just a stupid name.

"I called Husky Myrrha and he told me not to, that's all," he says, and now Nana just looks confused. Great, just when I'd gotten Cooro to stop asking about it, and I know she's not going to back down at easily as he did.

"Why can't he call you Myrrha?" she ask, and I just shrug.

"You've all always called me Husky up until now, why change?" I ask back, hoping maybe she wont ask for a reason if I do. She just shrugs like I did though, and doesn't seem to be backing down at all.

"Why would it matter, it is your name, after all," she says, almost the exact same thing Cooro had said earlier. They just don't get it, but then again I don't really know what I'm talking about either. I just don't want them to call me Myrrha. It's not like I'm really even that person anymore, or that's how it seems anyway. That's all behind me now, or well, at least it should be.

"I doesn't matter, I just don't want to be called it," I say, which is as close to the truth as I can figure at any rate.

"Why not?" she asks again, and I'm really starting to wish they'd go back to not asking any questions again. Instead of answering I lay down and face away from all of them, although I can still feel their eyes on me.

"Just go to sleep," I tell them, hoping that this will just be the end of it. If I don't want them to call me Myrrha, then it's not any of their business why.

"Husky…" Nana says, but I ignore her. She'll let up and go back to sleep eventually. "Myrrha," she says this time, and almost against my will I spring up and turn towards her. It doesn't make sense, I can see why they'd all be confused. I shouldn't care, it's my name.

"I just said don't call me that!" I really do yell this time, but Nana doesn't seem to really notice, or at least care. She got my attention, and that's what she wanted in the first place.

"I wont call you it if you tell me why!" she yells back. I really can't stand her sometimes, even if those times have been getting less and less as time goes on.

"Because that's not me anymore!" I'm… not really sure where that came from. Even if it is kind of true… That's not me. I left any part of that person back in Sailand when I finally got to say goodbye. Even if I wish it wasn't true, it is. I'm _not_ a prince anymore, I'm not rich or have a mother or a billion half-siblings or have meetings with a king or get my portrait painted or any of that stuff. I'm just a poor +anima orphan traveling with his friends in a pitiful attempt at making a living.

The others are staring at me in silence, so I just roll back into the position I was in before and close my eyes. "Just go to sleep," I mumbled, and they actually seem to listen this time.

The next morning everyone starts clearing up camp without much complaint. I'm not too sure where we're going to be heading next though. I think there's a town a little east from here called Fantale or Fantalk or something, but we probably wont reach it for another few days at the least. We're running low on food though, but I think I saw a river or something a little ways away, so I tell the others I'm going to go check it out.

It isn't very long at all when I hear the sound of footsteps following me. Turning around I see Cooro a few feet away, smiling as always. Without saying anything he runs to catch up with me, and I just keep walking. It'll be easier to catch any fish with him there to drive them around the water from above anyway.

"Sorry about last night," he says after a few moments, and I just glance at him.

"Why?" I ask, not too sure what he's talking about. Nana was the one that ended up making me upset. Well, I wasn't upset, just mad because she did something right after I told her not to. There wasn't any reason for me to be upset at all, then or now. I'm perfectly fine.

"For calling you Myrrha and starting all that," he said, and I just shrug. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know what would happen. "So, what was life at the palace like?" he asks after a few minutes. It was so sudden I actually stopped in my tracks, but then again, when is Cooro ever predictable?

"Huh?" I ask, not even really sure if I'd heard him right. He just smiles one of his typical big smiles at me, although he actually looks a bit nervous, and repeats his question.

"I said, what was life like at the palace? It had to be a lot different from traveling around like this," he says, and I just stare at him for a little bit longer. I just… really don't know with this kid sometimes. He's either the most dense, carefree person in the world, or actually a whole lot wiser then he lets on. Shaking my head slightly, I start walking again, Cooro following.

"It was… nice, I guess," I mumble, not really sure what to say. He doesn't say anything back though, which is weird since usually he never shuts up, but I guess he wants me to keep talking. "You're right about it being different, I can't really think of anything that would be the same." Cooro just nods and I try and think of what else I could possibly say.

I see the river I'd thought I saw earlier come into view though, and I don't want to put off getting food just to talk. That was something Cooro or Nana would do. Actually, considering their appetites, probably not.

"I'll tell you more about it later," I say, taking off the cape Nana had made me when we left Sailand. Cooro nods, his wings already unfurled. That boy will take any chance he gets to fly, I swear.

"Promise?" he asks before I have a chance to dive into the water. I shrug. I mean, I guess there's no harm in it, even if that isn't really me anymore. It used to be, and there isn't any reason why I can't talk about it if I want to. I can't help but think that this is probably what Cooro planned to happen when he asked me about the palace, but as I look at him just smiling goofily it's hard to imagine that such a little kid could be that perceptive. Of course, he's never ceased to surprise me before.

"Sure, I promise," I say, before quickly jumping into the water, allowing my anima to come out before I hit it. It isn't long before I see Cooro's shadow starting to drive a couple of fish up the river, and I start to follow.

While I fish, I keep ending up thinking back to what had happened. I'm really not that kid from the palace anymore, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Well, it wasn't like I was exactly happy back there, even if I was rich. I'm not saying poor people have it easier, it's definitely harder trying to scrape by just to make a living. It really does put things in perspective though.

Whatever though, I'm not about to get all philosophical and start talking about how money doesn't equal happiness and the best thing is to get back to your roots and go live in the woods with the deer and beetles or something. _I _just happen to like myself better as Husky, not Myrrha. Sure, I miss my mom, I guess I always will, and that's what's been bothering me so much, that that really was the last time I'd ever see her.

I'm not saying that traveling with my friends is _worth_ never seeing her again, but it's a fair trade, at the least. At any rate, I don't think I'll be feeling as homesick anymore. Not that I ever was in the first place.

I can kind of hear Cooro yelling something above the water, but before I can look up to see what was wrong, I end up smashing right into some sort of rock jutting out of the riverbed. Rubbing my head and backing away a bit, I quickly resurface, hand still on the spot that hurts the most.

"I tried to warn you!" I can hear Cooro yell from above me, much more clearly. I just frown a bit and roll my eyes.

"Like I can hear you under water!" I yell back, and Cooro just laughs slightly.

"Are you okay?" he asks me in between small bouts of laughter, although despite this he still somehow manages to still sound concerned. Like I said before, I just don't know with that kid sometimes. Not necessarily a bad thing though, not at all. Just annoying sometimes, like now, for instance.

"I'm fine," I call up to him, diving back under the water, this time carefully looking where I'm going. I'm not about to let something like that happen to me twice.

As I manage to catch a few more fish for our food, I think about what I'd said to Cooro. I'm fine. For the first time in what seems like forever, it finally feels true.


End file.
